Kill Tony #755 — Adam Ray (Dr. Phil), Sal Vulcano, Greg Fitzsimmons
Guests: Adam Ray (Dr. Phil) · Sal Vulcano · Greg Fitzsimmons
Lineup
Set: Opens with doxing joke misdirection, catfish joke with waiter, flat-earther depression suicide paradox joke proving earth is round.
Interview: Discusses being out of comfort zone opening first, rowing 65 miles in six days while listening to Smashing Pumpkins, mentions being in a funk, AIDS situation from Vancouver incident.
- Doxing misdirection: thinking it's two guys punching with dicks
- Catfished by amberjack fish with whiskers at restaurant
- Depressed flat-earther walks around world, shows up in hot air balloon proving earth round
- William gets heated about his nacho vest, audience banter escalates
- Panel jokes about vest looking like Epstein Island tour guide
Set: Topical jokes about Minneapolis/Somalia, Don Lemon arrest, Jewish/cop joke, joke about MS degree, performs musical comedy song about drinking and bromance.
Interview: Recently shaved head, was doing musical comedy with guitar, does wedding video editing and giantess porn with wife. Discusses confidence, previous appearances, wealth of experience.
- Difference between Jewish person and undercover cop: never know which you're talking to
- MS in business joke: who wants to run meeting with multiple sclerosis
- Mario performs original musical comedy song about drinking with friend and getting told 'I love you bro'
- Reveals he makes giantess porn with his tall wife, discusses selling through Square
Set: Opens saying he's on psilocybin mushrooms, joke about jerking off 38 times at hotel, discusses micro-dosing 7 grams, first time on show.
Interview: 60 years old, first time on microphone, went broke and decided to try comedy, worked commercial construction for decades, lost 80 lbs last year, did background work on Roseanne, wears turquoise jewelry, takes mushrooms frequently.
- 60-year-old at hotel: jerked off 38 times in one afternoon, not 69
- Seven grams psilocybin; young people say he's micro-dosing, confused about definition
- Robert's entire interview is difficult to follow because he's actively tripping on mushrooms during it
- Tony asks if he had background work on Roseanne; Robert awkwardly tries to keep it secret then admits it
Set: Makes N-word jokes using 'not' definition, jokes about hating Nazis and blonde-haired blue-eyed people, controversial material with shock value.
Interview: Second time on show, had gong last time that stayed in car, works from home in mysterious finance job approving/denying documents for $20/hour, plays piano, moved to Austin in July from Idaho.
- Remember when driving Tesla made you Nazi, now different kind of N-word
- From Idaho with N-words, bought Tesla Model Third Reich
- Panel questions his mysterious job where he just hits green/red buttons on documents without knowing what they are
- Tarique went on date with muscular woman who had thick neck and big biceps; awkwardly avoided kiss
Set: Long set about hating self-driving Waymo cars, getting drunk and falling asleep in Waymo, Tempe police waking him up, calling his mom to wake him, having to cut grass and wash her car.
Interview: Discusses falling asleep in Waymo in Tempe Arizona, was leaving Rochester NY with 5am flight, went to see grandma but she recently died, Waymo plays bad music, drunk after sold-out show, apologized to Tempe police on Instagram.
- Self-driving Waymo cars: no human driver to wake you up when drunk like Uber
- Tempe police couldn't wake him 30 minutes; lady unlocked phone with face, called his mom
- Atlanta bar: guy asked another for chicken wing, pulled out sock with string like nunchuck weapon
- Dedrick tells extensive story about witnessing friend get shot and gang violence over chicken wings in Atlanta
- Panel creates 'Lord of the Wings' joke riffing on his chicken wing weapon story
- Dedrick performs Too Short song reference to wake up Black person from Waymo
Taija
Set: First time with white woman, girlfriend was mad, comes fast/premature ejaculation, white woman changed life, now drinks IPAs, goes to breweries, plays cornhole.
Interview: Electrician working 5am-3pm daily at union data centers, 3-year comedy anniversary today, half-White (white dad real estate agent, Black mom), dad white, parents never married, brother is gay and brought boyfriend home.
- Slept with first white woman, girlfriend pissed, comes fast, she said supportive things
- White woman changed life: now drinks IPAs, goes to breweries, plays cornhole
- Woman asked about kinks, has praise kink, he said 'you the goat', awkward attempt
- Panel creates jokes about his premature ejaculation and how to compensate, references Blue Chew sponsor
- Taija shares that his brother is gay and brought boyfriend home to white father; he didn't approve of the boyfriend's appearance
Set: Jokes about dating with Android phone, green text messages discriminated against by iPhone users, MLK-style speech about green/blue messages uniting, chanting slogans.
Interview: First time on show, 2.5 years standup experience, from Dallas, unemployed, recently lost job in December 2024, worked Spectrum customer service calling about bills. Lives at homeless shelter (Arch) in Austin for one month.
- Dating with Android phone: iPhone users discriminate based on green text messages
- MLK dream speech about green and blue messages coming together in unity
- Reveals he's living in homeless shelter (Arch) after moving to Austin one month ago, working from Spectrum job until December
- Tony asks what job he could be good at; Greg says sales/customer service, fails Dr. Phil's test by saying 'customer service'
- Greg mentions living near trees/bush for sexual encounters while homeless
Set: Talks about being called autistic by dad post-appearance, is Jewish, family on Epstein and Schindler's lists, similarities between autism and Judaism, punchline: Jews don't like trains.
Interview: Joe Rogan advised doing props, brought props tonight (jew props), discusses visiting LA, wants Carrot Top mentorship. Props include Hasidic gas mask, ancient dickpick, oinkment for pigs, Lego Epstein Island.
- Dad keeps calling him autistic more since appearing on show, he's just Jewish
- So Jewish: family on both Epstein and Schindler's list
- Autism and Judaism similarities: loud, nervous, socially anxious. Jews don't like trains (vs autistic train obsession)
- Jack attempts Carrot Top-style prop comedy with various Jewish-themed items
- Hasidic gas mask prop generates uncomfortable moment where he has to say it out loud
- Lego Epstein Island prop with expansion pack featuring Trump and Clinton causes panel to correct him that Trump was never there
BHC Tommy
Set: Dense minute with multiple corpse sex jokes: coroner/necrophilia case, jumper cables on nipples, pregnancy, vampires don't need permission to come (Twilight reference).
Interview: 43 years old, chasing comedy selectively since last February, works 7 years marine construction (beach dredging), government contracting off coast, mostly New Jersey, new hair style (mohawk/mullet hybrid).
- Corpus Christi coroner had intercourse with corpses, called it magical/Netflix and chilled
- Woman offender tested with jumper cables on nipples, got pregnant from raw dogging zombies
- Twilight birth control: bang only vampires, they can't come inside without permission
- Tony notes this was 'the most dense minute' with too many joke attempts stacked together
- BHC Tommy jokes that only thing stiff in love life is the competition (dead bodies reference)
Set: Jokes about two night stands for bedroom symmetry, hooked up with girl on Sixth Street, went down on her, she had vaginal yeast infection (VIII), punchline: 'I'll take the mac, you keep the cheese'.
- Don't do one night stands anymore, do two so bedroom looks even
- Hooked up drunk, girl said she had DUI/VIII (yeast infection), 'I'll take the mac'