Kill Tony #34 — Doug Benson
Guests: Doug Benson
Lineup
Set: Middle-class white guy observational comedy about grocery store incidents, Starbucks mispronunciations, and diet soda causing depression. Delivery was criticized for being too talk-show-like with unnatural segues.
Interview: Tony and Doug discussed pacing issues and how the set differed when performed downstairs. Brendan explained nervousness from being picked first affected his delivery. Discussion of one-liner vs. story structure comedy.
- Large woman steals ham from grocery store, drops it, makes eye contact.
- Mispronouncing coffee names at Starbucks like 'mamasa mamakusa'.
- Diet soda causes depression but keeps drinking it anyway.
- Tony notes Brendan performed the same joke downstairs with better pacing and confidence.
- Discussion about nerves from being picked first affecting stage presence.
Set: Lion King logic critique: Nala defeats Simba three times but asks him to fight Scar instead. Fast delivery made it hard to understand; Tony had him redo the opening to slow down pacing.
Interview: Tony and Doug discussed delivery speed obscuring content. Shaun explained the joke was meant as a buffer for a larger entitlement bit. Discussion of using pop culture as setup for deeper commentary.
- Nala defeats Simba multiple times but wants him to fight Scar.
- Nala is like a Gracie Jiu-jitsu black belt but needs male hero.
- Tony has Shaun re-perform the opening three times to demonstrate pacing issues.
- Tony makes the point that slower delivery transforms the set from chaotic to coherent.
Set: Mixed-race identity comedy: mother is Hispanic, looks white, explores light-skinned privilege and militant family members. Includes bit about cousin's neck tattoo reading 'Southside' that appears to attack his face.
Interview: Discussion about cousin's 'Southside' neck tattoo and whether it works as comedy. Tony and panel explore deeper material about being perceived as both ethnicities and airport profiling experiences.
- Most militant race activists are lightest-skinned, color of paper towel.
- Cousin's 'Southside' neck tattoo looks like it's attacking his face.
- Middle Eastern people don't get airport profiled until showing ID.
- Panel discusses whether the cousin tattoo joke actually lands or confuses audience.
- Doug suggests developing material about culture clash and ethnic perception deeper.
Set: Opening with aggressive dismissal of audience, then describes Beaverton, Oregon hometown culture and bald eagle tears. Attempts eagle and bear impressions that fall flat, devolves into animal sounds.
Interview: Tony critiques aggressive opening that puts audience on defense. Doug notes people coming up unprompted is an unnatural phrase. Discussion about finding material in Nike HQ connection and local animals like nutria.
- Getting bald eagle to cry for tears logistically impossible.
- Nutria are local rats with big teeth that hiss.
- Kyle's aggressive opening insult to audience ('I don't care about you') creates unnecessary wall to overcome.
- Bear and eagle impression attempt derails set, Tony's bear responds with actual anger.
Set: Love compared to drug addiction, wanting to give up teeth for a girl. Mother's drug use as reference point. Punchline about Chef Boyardee's sad expression on can and SpaghettiOs tasting like neglect.
Interview: Positive reception across panel. Doug suggests adding more examples before Chef Boyardee payoff. Brief discussion of slight height (5'2") and Twitter handle options.
- Love should hit like drugs, willing to give up teeth.
- SpaghettiOs tastes like neglect, Chef Boyardee looks sad on can.
- Strong approval from panel, noted as clean example of one-minute structure.
Set: Marine veteran discusses training three years to kill in Afghanistan but never killing anyone. Compares to Rudy analogy—trained for big game but got different sport instead, wearing all the wrong equipment.
Interview: Tony and Doug discuss adding Rudy reference directly. Panel suggests more about military experience and non-military topics. Discussion of focusing on one topic rather than scattered approach.
- Trained three years to kill, deployed to win hearts and minds instead.
- Like training for football but forced to play baseball in full gear.
- Tony and Doug suggest integrating Rudy reference more explicitly into joke.
- Patriot refuses to apologize to actual Marine, creating awkward moment.
Set: Asperger's syndrome comedy: 'like being retarded except I'm smart.' Loving parents, lives with them. Father calls him chameleon/vampire—sleeps all day, sucks at night. Mother does Jewish mother impression about body and shoulders.
Interview: Doug praises set highly, notes three-year transformation from antisocial to hilarious. Discusses Josh's hyperfocus on movies/comics. Debate over 'go figure' phrase and whether it should stay.
- Asperger's is like being retarded except I'm smart.
- Father says I'm a vampire—sleep all day, suck at night.
- Doug gives extremely high praise, calls it best minute of the year.
- Discussion about whether 'go figure' phrase is own voice or derivative of Jewish comedians.
Set: Mortal Kombat deep cut: Liu Kang is cool, Sonya Blade sucks—just white woman with ponytail with 'cheated-on woman powers.' Shaq-Fu comparison about game combining characters with NBA sports game.
Interview: Panel lost on references; Doug liked delivery and specificity but needed stronger punchlines. Discussion about how many references needed to land joke (Mortal Kombat, NBA, Shaq-Fu, Carrie Underwood).
- Sonya Blade has powers of woman who got cheated on, just punches.
- Shaq-Fu should have just been Sonya Blade called NBA Away Games.
- Panel confused by reference density; Jerron lost much of audience early on.
- Patriot derails interview with uncomfortable foot fetish commentary about Sonya Blade.
Set: Rapid-fire shock comedy: glory hole painting, fingering with thumb at gas station, church breastfeeding joke. Little Caesars commercial credit. Self-described schizophrenic fast-paced style jumping between unrelated topics.
Interview: Strong approval for energy and delivery. Discussion of wanting more realistic/longer bits beyond shock punchlines. Dan does stand-up 3-4 days weekly, writing, acting. Debate about mustache affecting his comedy career.
- Glory hole painting fun until guy on other side disagrees.
- Not sure if fingering counts with thumb instead of fingers.
- Pope says breastfeeding in church fine, I'm almost full.
- Dan responds to earlier Sonya Blade conversation by opening with 'I would totally fuck Sonya Blade'.
Set: Food trend observations: rice cakes misleading name/never filling, romaine/iceberg lettuce disappeared replaced by kale/arugula, quiche replaced by frittata. Specific product criticism without aggression.
Interview: Tony praises consistency in regular slot, notes she has 4-5 killer food minutes that could close a longer set. Discusses how she's hitting same pocket week to week with tight material.
- Rice cakes: word cake is misleading, impossible to get full.
- Romaine and iceberg lettuce gone, replaced by kale and arugula.
- Quiche no longer exists, replaced by frittata.
- Tony notes consistency of hitting the same tight pocket week to week.
Set: Woman cuts off husband's penis when he leaves, keeps it. Absurdist bit about custody hearing for the penis on weekends/holidays. Reference to other penis-cutting incidents and man with two functional penises.
Interview: Approval for comedic concept. Discussion of disturbing trend of penis-cutting incidents. Doug mentions documentary about man with two penises. Brief debate about Kim's laugh/water-drinking habit.
- Wife cuts off husband's penis on leaving, wants weekend custody.
- Woman argues she raised it, deserves partial custody with holidays.
- Panel discusses disturbing real trend of multiple penis-cutting incidents.