Kill Tony #617 — Ali Siddiq
Guests: Ali Siddiq
Lineup
Set: Hans joked about returning to Korea, stereotypes about Asian people, and a failed threesome attempt where he fell asleep fingering his girlfriend while her friend slept nearby.
Interview: Hans defended his regular status against challenger Jared Nathan. Discussion covered his Korea trip, the threesome incident, and Tony acknowledging Hans is in fighting shape after Saturday's re-energization.
- People in Korea all look the same so can't respect anyone when they resemble his girlfriend.
- His white girlfriend wore Korea shirt, but DNA sample in right spot would be 100% Korean.
- Hans won the regular battle against Jared Nathan in a live audience vote.
- Tony called out Hans's confessional about the threesome as closest to a Bill Cosby joke he's ever done.
Set: Jared did a set about his stutter and speech therapy, using tongue twisters and crude punchlines about stammering and eating things.
Interview: Jared discussed his speech therapy journey and stutter. He competed against Hans Kim for a regular spot but lost the audience vote. Tony and Ali critiqued his delivery and clarity.
- Once you go stutter no other—joke about speech therapy involving tongue twisters.
- Jared lost the regular battle to Hans Kim in a live audience vote.
- Ali Siddiq noted Jared's set was second or third best performance at the mothership.
Set: Jake, performing only his second time ever, joked about coming from Canada, freedom tasting like barbecue, and Justin Trudeau's blackface scandals.
Interview: Jake revealed this was his second stand-up set ever. Extended interview focused on his oversized hat from H&M that he'd washed in a car wash, with Tony and the panel spending significant time making him adjust it with joke books.
- Justin Trudeau did blackface so many times he lost count.
- Extended segment about Jake's oversized H&M hat which he'd washed in a car wash; Tony and panel made him try joke books as hats.
- Jake performed a brief Shakespearean monologue from 'To be or not to be' in a serious voice.
Set: Brandon joked about his dad taking him to ballet as a southern man, Civil War dads taking kids to battlefields, and not being gay despite the ballet exposure.
Interview: Brandon discussed surviving on insurance money from two car wrecks in four days during summer 2021, living in South Carolina, eating hibachi and Chipotle regularly, and his interests in fishing and martial arts.
- Dad took him to ballet instead of Civil War exposure therapy like other southern dads.
- Made a Tim Dillon reference about being 'Tim Dillon with brain damage.'
- Tony mocked Brandon for stepping on punch lines with 'fat feet' and not being able to name a song for the band to play.
Set: Aloe did observational material about robbing white people in Texas, pronouns, and referenced past roasts of Darnell Rawlings from the show.
Interview: Aloe discussed his famous incident with Darnell Rawlings leaving the show after being repeatedly roasted. He explained how he counted Donnell's jabs and referenced the Chappelle chain and matching Jordans that upset Donnell.
- Referenced pronouns as 'f*** with attitude' and alternative pronouns like Fallout Boy or Nirvana.
- Golden ticket winner who famously roasted Darnell Rawlings so severely he walked off the show.
- Ali Siddiq just watched Aloe's special two days before this appearance.
Set: Colin did crude jokes about sleeping on an air mattress, having sex on it, and women encountering him as the disappointing 'fun guy' from the bar.
Interview: Colin revealed he's been doing stand-up four years, moved to Austin two years ago from outside Philly, has a nurse girlfriend who works with AIDS patients, and recently got off an air mattress. Tony shared his own better air mattress story.
- Air mattress sex limits you to missionary or you'll pop the bed with toenails.
- Women hit rock bottom in real time on his air mattress.
- Tony dominated interview by telling a superior air mattress story about sleeping on actual hardwood due to deflation.
Set: Kam performed a strong set about moving to Austin, finding only six black people there (all crackheads), and making a joke about crack dust creating more crackheads.
Interview: Kam revealed he's 24, been doing comedy two years mostly in Orlando, moved to Austin two months ago, and is now a door guy at the club. He discussed his supportive parents and being emotionally moved by his success.
- Only seen six black people in Austin and they're all crackheads who want him to join.
- Crackheads make other crackheads by blowing crack dust in your face.
- Newly promoted regular at the Mothership, first spot after winning regular status on Saturday.
- Strong emotional reaction discussing his supportive father and mother's pride.
Set: Dylan joked about pornography ads on PornHub, aggressive online game ads, and made crude observations about user experience on adult sites.
Interview: Extended interview about Dylan's romantic breakup with a 4.5-year girlfriend who wanted to be friends. Discussion covered her early sleep schedule, herbalist job, their hiking and outdoor activities, and Dylan's misinterpretation of events.
- PornHub ads feature aggressive voice asking if you can masturbate without a partner.
- Online game ads don't appeal to him; doesn't want metaverse sex.
- Dylan's interview unraveled as he revealed contradictions about his ex-girlfriend's infidelity and activities.
- Crowd and panel turned against Dylan as his story fell apart under questioning.
Set: Bobby joked about Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 proving anyone can do anything, naming his baby 'OJ,' and opening an animal abuse shelter in the woods.
Interview: Bobby discussed living in Austin almost two years, working at a Greek restaurant, lacking a love life, and admitting to finishing sex in 10-15 seconds during his only college encounter.
- Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 proves you can do anything in America.
- Wants to name baby OJ so he can scream 'the juice is loose' during labor.
- Admitted to premature ejaculation in college (10-15 seconds), extremely uncomfortable interview moment.
- Got booked on a Thursday secret show by Tony as consolation prize for rough interview.
Afrodyete
Set: Afrodyete did 67-second set joking about God's comedy through making fun of people's appearances, her body dissatisfaction, and generational complaints about young people.
Interview: Afrodyete discussed being told to perform last-minute after Tony misread her departure message. She reflected on her 10-year anniversary performance at ACL Live and her emotional reaction seeing 3,000 people.
- God is a stand-up comedian making jokes on people's faces and bodies.
- Afrodyete received the 1001st numbered Kill Tony joke book, a special honor.
- Performed a rendition of 'Careless Whispers' after her set, showcasing her musical talents.
- Described her emotional reaction to performing in front of 3,000 people at 10-year anniversary show.
Set: Alexis did quick observational set about being called a headliner, autism and eye contact, and interpreting eye contact as sexual advances.
Interview: Alexis revealed she started comedy March 7, 2022 (about 1.5 years). She's a seamstress for a bridal company, dyed hair blonde 8-9 months ago, lives with ex-boyfriend since August (broke up September), and once brought a guy back to intentionally be loud so ex-boyfriend would hear.
- Comedians called headliners because they blow other comedians and get cocaine.
- Autistic people have correct response to eye contact; it should be for mothers and post-sex only.
- Revealed she lives with ex-boyfriend as roommates, had him co-sign lease one month after breakup.
- Admitted to bringing a fan from an open mic back and intentionally making noise so ex would hear.
- Received 1001st joke book as a prize and was booked for secret show Thursday; announced she's moving to New York in 15 days.
Set: William performed material about his appearance, his parents' traits, anti-immigration Saudi golf rule jokes, and Donald Trump classified documents parody.
Interview: William revealed he found out today he might have skin cancer (appointment tomorrow) and brought his new Rottweiler puppy on stage in a bag. Extended interview about the terrified dog, false Craigslist seller claim ($10k), dog living in the bag, and William's uncertain cancer diagnosis.
- Has mother's chin and father's testicles; Dad always saying 'make Germany great again'.
- Saudi golf rules: miss putt = 10 years jail; migrant worker violations; ball out of bounds = wife stoned.
- Trump parody about being charged while only Aphex Twin should be for performing in Denmark not America.
- Brought live Rottweiler puppy on stage in a bag; dog visibly terrified and shaking throughout.
- Revealed he found out today he might have skin cancer with appointment tomorrow for results.
- William joked about returning to cocaine if he has only a couple months to live.
- Band and audience sang 'I got a sweet little dog' as closing segment.