Kill Tony #692 — Ian Bagg, Tyler Fischer
Guests: Ian Bagg · Tyler Fischer
Lineup
Set: Heath discusses heartbreak, a woman with a mommy kink, his sexual attitudes, and recent trip to Puerto Rico for a private gig where he brought a girlfriend.
Interview: Tony and panel roast Heath about his appearance and size, his relationship status, Puerto Rico trip details, and his naivete. Multiple callbacks to his small stature.
- Woman broke his heart; stiff socks and freedom have always been in his corner.
- Met woman with mommy kink; brags about his sexual attitudes and lack of protection.
- References calling 911 when in danger; has become a father.
- Golden ticket winner introduced; Tony immediately roasts his tiny stature and appearance throughout interview.
- Extended riffing on Heath's size with multiple comparisons (Jeffrey Dahmer at 6, born from pre-cum, long toes).
- Red Band accidentally makes joke about Puerto Rico's electricity situation, immediate backlash.
Set: Matt discusses trying to be more supportive, friends coming out as bisexual, his attraction to tomboys, and an awkward moment when drunk saying 'I like boys, Tom' to his friend Tom.
Interview: Tony questions Matt's motives for explaining tomboys are a type of girl, jokes about his sexuality based on left earring, discusses his Puerto Rican heritage and military father who raised him whitewashed in the Bronx.
- Friend came out as bisexual; posting 'I knew it' isn't supportive.
- Likes tomboys but worried he'll say 'I like Tom, boys' to friend named Tom.
- Got drunk and told guy friends 'I like boys, Tom' causing confusion.
- Tony asks if Matt is bisexual based on left earring; discussion of earring placement stereotypes.
- Matt reveals Puerto Rican heritage; Tony and panel immediately make harsh jokes, nearly end interview.
- Matt admits deepest fear is dying worthless; Tony acknowledges the real moment before quickly moving on.
Set: Lorenzo discusses being called 'big pointy ears' as a kid and asking his grandma if his dad was an elf, only to learn he was deported. Follows with more family backstory.
Interview: Tony and Ian grill Lorenzo about his mixed heritage (Dominican/Italian/Scottish/Costa Rican), his Alaskan upbringing, working at a smoke shop, and his family issues including his mother's drug addiction.
- Kid mocked his pointy ears asking if dad was elf; grandma said he's deported.
- Dad was absent due to deportation; explains why he knew what that meant young.
- Extended discussion about bread vs toast vs dough while discussing impoverished Dominican childhood breakfast (tang and raw bread).
- Lorenzo mentions father breaking his phone in Dominican Republic; Tony coaches him to write about this.
- Father is present at show; Tony tries to bring him on stage but backs off.
Set: Aaron discusses one-night stand with pregnant woman who he believes poked holes in his condoms; he took condoms home to inspect them and used cerebral palsy hereditary argument to convince her baby wasn't his.
Interview: Panel roasts Aaron's condom inspection story, his special needs appearance and abilities, his Canadian heritage, and Halloween prank handing out onions to kids.
- Woman poked holes in condoms; he inspected the full bag at home.
- Told woman cerebral palsy is hereditary so baby can't be his.
- Drake puts hot sauce in condoms; Aaron will use lighter fluid next time.
- Golden ticket winner; extensive roasting of his physical abilities and 'Mr. Scratchy' hand.
- Tyler Fisher comments Aaron looks like 'Matt Rife after six kids and the worst divorce'.
- Aaron mentions handing out onions to kids at Halloween, telling them to eat vegetables.
Set: Angel asks audience if they think he's straight, discusses being perceived as queer in Texas despite ambiguous sexuality, and mentions a comic saying he'd make a good prison wife.
Interview: Tony discovers Angel is exhausted from door job, high, struggles with anxiety/depression, uses cocaine, attends UCB for improv background, snowboards, and works at Buckwild bar. Uncomfortable exchange about drug use patterns.
- People assume he's queer in Texas due to long hair and racial ambiguity.
- Comic told him he'd make good prison wife with power of the pussy.
- Angel admits to doing cocaine regularly; Tony presses for details about bathroom bump at Shakespeare's.
- Angel reveals he takes Prozac while also using cocaine; Tony questions the contradiction.
- Tony accuses Angel of using cocaine as coping mechanism despite claiming therapy helps; Angel defends 'fun use'.
Set: Drew delivers a utility set after Angel's low-energy performance, making Halloween watermelon carving jokes and self-deprecating special needs humor.
Interview: Tony learns Drew had three energy drinks today (Rise, Red Bull mixed with Tang and water), won two of three poker tournaments recently, uses special needs appearance to bluff at poker tables.
- Halloween watermelon carving at all-black party; white people can't compete at arts and crafts.
- Uses his special needs appearance to bluff poker opponents, claiming they think he's too dumb to take his money.
- Brought in as 'special utility player' after Angel's set bombed; low-energy performance.
- Discussion of Tang mixed with Red Bull as breakfast drink; callback to Lorenzo's tang discussion.
Set: Taylor does high-energy opening with audience participation about kissing/anal sections, then references NYC rat joke before time runs out.
Interview: Tony discovers Taylor is recovering crack addict with psych ward history, smoked crack for first time in Columbus Ohio after watching Wolf of Wall Street drunk, now sober and working as handyman mounting TVs.
- Kissing section audience participation; tells them they're in 'anal section' instead.
- NYC rat fight reference; absurdist humor about swallowing glass hole.
- Taylor reveals smoking crack for first time from homeless man in Columbus after drunk decision.
- Extended story of getting in car with strangers, smoking more crack, being dropped off at fraternity at 6AM.
- Taylor admits to psych ward stay for being 'too naughty' and relapsing into cocaine binges when drunk.
Set: Cam does brand new minute about not taking politics seriously, discusses talking to Joe Rogan who talked to Trump, and tells story about racing crackhead for $20.
Interview: Extensive interview about being called bigot, his mailman brother being their dad's favorite, fight with Delta Airlines over pride pin tweet, and recent Sacramento gig where swole entrepreneur bought him Gucci items.
- Joe Rogan talked to Trump three hours; Cam talked to crackheads two calls away from Trump.
- Raced crackhead for $20; crackhead was slow, Cam won, they split the money.
- Tyler Fisher reveals he was banned from Delta for life after tweeting about flight attendant's pride pin, asking if it helps the plane fly.
- Cam discusses Saskatchewan gig; swole entrepreneur security guard closed down Gucci store and bought him items; Tony accuses him of robbing it.
- Cam talks about finding tiny watch in garbage in Puerto Rico; Tony mocks him about it; joke about Delta.
Set: Leslie does set about being single father for 11 years, ex took off with midget wearing cargo shorts, son knows half periodic table and 22 digits of pi, ex called about midget hitting her, makes 'short relationship' punchline.
Interview: Extensive interview: Leslie drove from South Carolina 5 times trying to get on show with no gas/food/money, lives in car with 11-year-old son and camera guy, legally disabled with 8+ diagnoses, lost everything to COVID, pursuing welding/comedy, nominated Father of Year 2017.
- Baby mama took off with midget wearing cargo shorts two weeks after son born.
- Son is 11, knows half periodic table and first 22 digits of pi.
- Ex called back after week saying midget hitting her; Leslie makes 'short relationship' joke.
- Leslie reveals 50+ item scroll of life traumas and experiences; Tony helps him read it on air.
- Leslie reveals he lives in car with 11-year-old son and camera guy who needed a place; camera guy is mentioned throughout.
- Leslie shout-out to aunt Tina on camera, blaming her for pepper ball incident; very emotional moment.
- Leslie mentions making D Madness a sweater saying 'I'm not gay'; gives it to D.
Matt Galetta
Set: Matt discusses Texas porn ban and having to show ID while jerking off, compares experience to Edward Snowden, asks if he's on Epstein's Island.
Interview: Matt receives heavy crowd rejection; Tony learns he's been doing comedy 5 years, started in Jersey near Shore, got rear-ended by Jewish person, is unemployed, used to play metal music as vocalist/guitarist.
- Texas bans Pornhub; need ID and dick in hand to watch porn.
- Having ID and dick out like Edward Snowden; feels like Epstein's Island.
- First significant crowd rejection/boo of the night; audience audibly boos Matt's performance.
- Tony compares Matt unfavorably to Leslie Childs who has real trauma and sleep in car.
Set: Stacy opens with 'dick-filled room' comment, discusses exes saying she tastes funny, self-identifies as not liberal but looks liberal, audience can tell what she looks like from her voice.
Interview: Limited interview; Stacy mentions feeling like she's living her dream (sarcastically says 'Requiem for a Dream'), Tony jokes she was in Motley Crue.
- Loves Kill Tony and the dick-filled room.
- Exes said she tastes funny; that's why she's doing comedy.
- From LA, can't claim she's not liberal; audience can tell from appearance based on voice.
Ian Bagg
Interview: Ian Bagg sits at the panel throughout the episode, making commentary on performers' sets and participating in roasts.
Interview: Tyler Fischer sits at panel, shadows banned on internet (ty the fish), wearing Jordan Peterson shirt, participates in roasts and commentary throughout.
- Tyler reveals he was banned from Delta Airlines for life after tweeting complaint about flight attendant's pride pin.