Kill Tony #660 — Elaine, Ian Edwards

Set: Story about blacking out on Klonopin and making girlfriend listen to pro-union coal mining music. Riffs on drug flashbacks, mall encounters, and absurdist scenarios involving minions and Spencer's Gifts.

Interview: Discussed his rapid movement on stage, sobriety status, willingness to do drugs with Joe Rogan and Elaine, and general vibe as human embodiment of Adderall.

Set: Discusses being a Puerto Rican door guy who can't speak Spanish, comparing it to a non-pedophile Catholic priest. Jokes about liking Molly and complimenting bald people's eyebrows, watching Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Palestine.

Interview: Revealed he's been in Austin a year, previously lived in New Orleans, worked on self-driving AI cars, is 27, and was married then divorced. Discussed deceased father murdered with baseball bat in bowling alley and car chase with hillbilly.

Set: One-liners about clean shaving pubes, being a cutter turned spitter, grandfather almost shooting someone during blackout, wanting to be Black, Kanye West and Jews, and a sex worker biting his dick.

Interview: Revealed he's 21, in high school, been doing stand-up for only a month, has vivid imagination for pleasing himself, interested in prostitutes, and recently got good-looking after Accutane treatment for acne.

Set: Discusses toxic relationship where he threatened to kill girlfriend's family if she left. Now can't see her due to legal restrictions. Ends with joke about fucking Elaine.

Interview: Revealed to be golden ticket winner, door guy at mothership, younger than claimed (not really 21), drinker, slept through flights to Boston and Baltimore tour dates, small stature, passionate about rap music.

Set: Jury duty material about orientation focusing entirely on how to fill out address form. Criticizes fellow jurors for eating ice cream at 9:30am and judges for needing help from random people instead of using their legal knowledge.

Interview: Six-year New York comedian from Jersey with pollen allergies affecting his set. Revealed to be 35, hanging out with 25-year-olds, has a cat with diabetes, has been asked to officiate six weddings, feels he's a raging alcoholic.

Set: Gets a little fat, recently had girl try to titty fuck him. Describes himself as German and Jewish so wants to kill himself. Comments on Passion of the Christ 2 and Mel Gibson hating Jews. Asks crowd about Hamas.

Interview: Eight-year comedian from Connecticut who takes train to NYC to perform. Lost restaurant waiter job six months ago, been in Austin a month, loves the tight-knit comedy scene. Mentioned taking long looks at river possibly referencing Lady Bird Lake killer.

Set: Recently in Utah; discusses how Utah sided with union during Civil War but has low Black population. Compares Utah mountains to Mount Everest. Only knows three mountains including Splash Mountain.

Interview: Austin regular and professional touring comedian. Met Tony at Orlando Improv years ago. Two years in comedy game. Roasts Jerry Carlin as looking like serial killer/Jeffrey Dahmer. Promotes website camsofunny.com (with two o's).

Set: Discusses new jerk-off techniques including 'the stranger' and variations. 'The reverse stranger' involves sitting on own dick until numb then jerking off. Final technique: sitting on someone else's dick is 'just gay' and he's been confused about his sexuality.

Interview: Previously sold pills; just got hernia from blowing nose too hard at 40 years old. Still needs surgery but already planning to get back on pain pills. Fucked all the Latin girls in San Antonio, now trying white girls who are boring. Wears vests.

Set: Discusses weighing over 300 pounds and doctors calling him morbidly obese. Mom did back-to-school shopping at Tractor Supply, bought him barn shirt saying 'what happens in the barn stays in the barn' (bestiality reference). Joke about buddy Nick and lotion (pedophile reference).

Interview: Just over a year doing stand-up in San Antonio. Admitted his set was god awful; panel notes it was worse than Andrew Ginsberg. Revealed embarrassing story about throwing up in his underwear in elementary school while having diarrhea.

Set: Loves being in Texas where he can say retard. Can't jerk off to retarded people anymore, has to picture it. Comments on San Francisco being 'mecca of Asians' where Asian women have asses. Jokes about mistaking Latino boys for Asian girls.

Interview: Returning regular after months-long hiatus preparing for Forum rematch. Discussed Utah trip with Tony, Cam, and Casey. Bought Utah hoodie at airport thinking weather would be like Texas. Compares Andrew Ginsberg's allergy complaints to being allergic to jokes.