Kill Tony #728 — Greg Fitzsimmons
Guests: Greg Fitzsimmons
Lineup
Set: Jack discusses his father's struggles with trans pronouns and drag shows, his own complicated relationship with his sexuality, and a mushroom experience at the beach.
Interview: Jack reveals his father frequents Starbucks in Silver Lake and gets upset by trans people; discusses his dating life and a mushroom trip.
- His father struggling with trans pronouns but finally getting it right.
- Came up with a great name for a Jewish drag queen.
- Golden ticket winner introduced to start the show
- Panel members make jokes about Jack's appearance and background
Set: Jessi discusses getting a girl pregnant, moving to Austin for comedy and to find women who like drugs, and his career as a shower salesman.
Interview: Jessi reveals he sells showers to elderly people, smokes weed, got a girl pregnant via an abortion pill from Mexico, and currently has a white girlfriend.
- Got a girl pregnant and she chose abortion pills ordered from Mexico.
- Moved to Austin to find white girls who like the same drugs.
- Greg and Tony discuss the logistics of Mexican abortion pills
- Jessi mentions being a former juvenile probation officer with a DUI from hitting a tree
Set: Alex discusses his prominent birthmark on his face, the bullying he endured as a child, and his father being falsely accused of child abuse.
Interview: Alex reveals he's from Denver, works as a porter at a car dealership, played hockey, and has a facial birthmark he's had laser removal treatment for since age 3 months.
- His birthmark makes him look like Zuko from Avatar with a soccer ball face.
- His father falsely accused of child abuse because of his birthmark appearance.
- Panel reacts strongly to Alex turning away, revealing full extent of birthmark
- Alex reveals he was shaving his face since 3 months old due to birthmark hair
Set: AJ discusses being half-Mexican/half-white and the confusion this causes, working in self-driving car testing, and comparing himself to expectations of Mexican laborers.
Interview: AJ is half-Mexican/half-white, works for Waymo testing self-driving cars, recently broke up with a girlfriend who moved back to California and came out as lesbian.
- His face says Trump supporter but his name says ICE Detention Center.
- Stands outside Home Depot looking for work but is white.
- Panel discusses AJ's ex-girlfriend coming out as lesbian after breakup
- Greg jokingly asks if AJ would transition to get her back
Set: Fiona discusses a trip to France where an Uber driver complimented her slow speech while learning English, and jokes about Duolingo.
Interview: Fiona attended her bachelorette party at Dollywood, did shrooms multiple times, had a coke phase in college where she did cartwheels, and uses fast-pass due to disability.
- Uber driver in France compliments her slow English speech while learning.
- Duolingo can perform oral sex because of her speaking speed feedback.
- Golden ticket winner with strong comedic presence and rapport with panel
- Discusses doing shrooms at Dollywood and being recognized by a fan while peaking
Set: Sir Winston, a clown, discusses his age, staying in shape, a concerning interaction with a teenage jogger, and a Diana joke about the Mercedes-Benz.
Interview: English clown who recently moved from Florida to Austin, does DoorDash, has 10 years as clown and 6 as standup comic, performs extended additional material.
- His high school belt still fits around his neck at age 60.
- Drives slowly behind teenage jogger with lights off to keep her safe.
- Made Diana/Mercedes-Benz joke about the most beautiful Mercedes-Benz ever made.
- Panel gives extensive praise and allows extended performance of additional material
- Extended solo performance with spotlight requested by panel
Offender
Set: Offender's set about quitting smoking by visualizing a big black dick instead, and homophobic/racist disclaimers in poor taste.
Interview: Offender lives on a short bus, has done 312 open mics in Austin in 6 months, has previously appeared on show with Kill Tony bingo tattoo on thigh.
- Using visualization of big black dick to quit smoking cigarettes.
- Friends get mad when he takes off his hat and asks for lighter.
- Set bombs heavily and panel provides gentle feedback
- Offender mentions previous appearance and Kill Tony bingo tattoo on thigh
Set: Sonny discusses buying a rescue dog and girlfriend, her muffin top, friend with gay ice cream parlor called Motty Cones.
Interview: Sonny from San Antonio/Austin area, works at courthouse calling people with warrants, does action figure photography/reviews on YouTube, married 6 years, wears a 1911 necklace.
- Bought a used girlfriend from the woman's shelter as rescue.
- Friend opened gay ice cream parlor called Motty Cones.
- Sonny reveals he confronted someone beating an elderly woman at mall with gun
- Panel jokes about his wedding ring's questionable street value provenance
Set: David discusses an Indian plane crash reducing scam calls, women with dyed hair and Middle East activism, NFL teams in Middle East.
Interview: David is losing weight with personal trainer, working out, eating less, touring extensively, lives in Austin, bought new place with problematic beeping smoke detector.
- Indian plane crash reduced scam calls 50% and Apple tech support.
- If Middle East had NFL team, people would care about it.
- Extended roasting exchange between David and Greg about appearance and health
- Joke about new home's beeping smoke detector being racist
Deepak Pani
Set: Deepak discusses Hollywood slavery movies, his experience watching Passion of the Christ, and the redundancy of depictions of suffering.
Interview: Deepak from India on 1.5 year visa, studying master's in computer science at Cleveland State, recently started standup 2 months ago, has handheld bidet toilet setup.
- Hollywood makes slavery movies yearly just to hype up Black people.
- Found out whips hurt in fifth grade without experiencing abuse.
- Panel reacts to Deepak's extreme newness and thick accent
- Extensive discussion of handheld bidet usage and bathroom habits
John Bechtel
Set: John discusses declaring war, men as dogs, a fentanyl overdose billboard removal, and Ninja Turtles saying howabanga instead of cowabunga.
Interview: John does food delivery/pizza, lived in Baltimore for 25 years before Texas, works as waiter for 16 years, got arrested in 2013 during Boston Marathon bombing.
- War declared and men are dogs who white women occasionally pet.
- Fentanyl billboard removal means overdose victim got better.
- John reveals he was arrested April 18, 2013 during Boston Marathon bombing
- Panel questions John's substance use and high energy
Set: Frank performs offensive material about not trusting Black people, mentions traffic incident with racist driver throwing banana peels, Mario Kart joke.
Interview: Frank donated plasma today with wrapped arm, has appeared on show before, performs race-based comedy that isn't landing well this episode.
- No longer trusts Black people after someone called him N-word in traffic.
- Threw banana peels at car in traffic but Mario Kart reference saves it.
- Frank's zipper is down during performance and interview
Set: Ari discusses diversifying movie franchises (gay James Bond, Black Taken), new Catwoman movie with Zoe Kravitz, and why Catwoman needs to climb.
Interview: Ari is Estonian, recently moved to Austin, this was his first Independence Day celebration, Estonia has history of occupation, celebrates via song instead of military victory.
- Gay James Bond has to suck dick to get passwords.
- Catwoman can't be fat because cats climb, suggesting Garfield instead.
- Greg gives extensive praise calling it probably best set of night
- Ari explains Estonia's history lacks military victories, celebrates with singing instead
Kelly Lusk
Set: Kelly discusses a gay friend's anal activities and foot fetish, nicknames him Anal Cave Dave, makes pedicure parmesan feet joke.
Interview: No extended interview conducted; Tony immediately moved to next bucket pull after set.
- Gay friend David known as Anal Cave Dave due to butt activities.
- Friend's foot fetish makes her think of pedicure parmesan cheese grater.
- Tony cuts off interview immediately, indicating weak reception